You see it often — people spending what they don’t have — money, energy, even love. It leads to debt, regret, disappointment, heartache and even illness.
It’s especially noticeable in this season of high giving, which can be joyous and merry… or very stressful. To help you come out the other side smiling, I invite you to check in with yourself each day.
Do you have the money, energy, or love within you to give? If not, can you avoid giving until you do? Otherwise, what you are giving is manufactured and can end up costing you big time.
Let’s explore three important areas:
1. Money
You work hard for your money. You trade time you’ll never get back to earn it. So how do you want to spend it? Is it aligned with what’s most important to you?
This has come into full view as I’ve spent the last two weekends decluttering parts of our house, taking a carload of stuff to goodwill that I don’t want, use or really like, only to notice I still have a full house!
In fact I’m inspired by Zen Habit’s Challenge: Buy Nothing till 2013: I don’t plan to follow his advice of no spending through the holidays but I’m definitely more mindful of each purchase. I’m asking myself, do I value this enough to trade part of my life to buy it? Think about that…
2. Love
You can’t give love to others if you don’t feel loving within yourself. Otherwise, it’s manufactured love and usually comes with conditions.
You can tell it has conditions when you give it expecting something in return or feel disappointed when you aren’t loved a certain way back. Whenever I notice that’s happened to me, my focus is turned inward to nurture my inner child that needs my love and affection to know she is enough.
If ever you feel this way, here are three little tips:
1. Spend time daily cultivating good-feeling love within you and notice how much more you have to give others. I work with clients on this extensively until they truly feel awesome about themselves. Then the love that pours from them is just who they are, unconditionally.
2. Through this holiday season, notice where you are trying to buy love and ask yourself why you feel the need to impress? This is a subtle check-in but will allow you to see what or whom your worth is attached to.
3. Try substituting material purchases for experiences – many of which can be free. Most of today’s children do not need more stuff, they need our love and acceptance.
3. Energy
Your energy is your life force. With family gatherings and holiday parties coming up, it’s important to continuously replenish your inner well.
I see many people getting sick at this time of year because they aren’t caring for themselves. They are over extending themselves, eating more richly and not getting the rest they need. And they are ignoring the signs that tell them so. If you are one of them, stop and replenish. My article on building your immunity may also help.
I love this phrase I found. I can’t remember where, but it rocks!
Remember, you can’t give what you don’t have. It’s impossible. Your cup is yours to drink and be nourished by. What you have left over is what you have to give others.
Drink up and savour your sparkle!
Paula
