Motivation. Drive. Goals. Some people love them. Some cringe at the mention. It’s good to know which camp you sit in.
What I’ve discovered in myself and the women I life coach is that the pressure we put on ourselves is far greater than any pressure others put on us. And often, it’s in the wrong direction.
Yes, it’s working against us, stopping the flow, as opposed to being at our back encouraging us forward.
If we are going to apply force in any direction, why not apply it in a positive, uplifting direction? Why not turn into our biggest fan encouraging our every step?
Otherwise, we’re better off just taking a nap. Seriously. We’d do less damage, be happier and probably get more done.
Think about your own life. Are you putting pressure on yourself to succeed, reach a goal, or be different than you are? What does that pressure feel like inside? If it feels great, then keep going. If it feels yucky or constricting, it’s time for a new approach.
Pressure is wonderful when it’s pushing you in the direction of natural flow. A sailboat benefits from the pressure of wind. But pressure against natural flow takes a ton of energy. A plane must take off into the wind, but it also uses up a lot of fuel to do so. So unless you are refueling mid-air or carry a big energy reserve, I invite you to find a different way to operate – one that feels more magical.
Follow Your Flow in 6 Freeing Steps:
1. Think about a goal or desire you have.
Feel the energy of having it complete.
2. With several big breaths, take the pressure off of yourself to achieve or succeed.
Just let it go – even for a moment – like a wave that washes over you as you exhale.
3. Stop and notice where your energy is at.
Are you depleted? If so, it’s time to pause and replenish.
4. If you are good to go, what next step inspires you the most?
That is, if there were no ‘shoulds’ or rules, which way would you naturally move in carrying out your goal?
5. Take that step or two with ease, lightness and grace.
It really can be fun and light.
6. Celebrate with a hug or high five to the moon.
Then repeat the process.
Some people refute this way of living, claiming they’d never get anything done. They’d sit on the couch watching TV or surf Facebook. They’d never take a chance on themselves.
That’s a myth.
When you follow your flow, you can move very quickly in certain directions because you are not resisting.
You learn to trust yourself to take bigger bold steps because you’ve seen yourself already move with ease. And you’re encouraging yourself every step of the way.
It’s time to take the pressure off and follow the flow of inspiration.
Love and hugs,
Paula
Wonderful post! The timing is perfect; it resonates a lot with me. Now to change the direction…
Kristin, thank you. I’m thrilled it resonated with you. It seems to be where a lot of women are at right now. So know that you are not alone. Stop for a moment before you change direction and check in. Which direction brings you the greatest peace and contentment? I’m here to support you. Love, Paula
great timing for this post! I actually started using your strategies last year….if I started to feel overwhelmed or stressed I would just stop doing what I was doing. At first it was very scary, ’cause ya’, I thought I would never get anything done but the truth is my work improved and pausing and taking a breath made so much more room for my soul to hear the inspiration that it wanted me to hear! The last week or so I have been dabbling with the old million miles an hour, multi-tasking extravaganza and woke up this morning literally exhausted! Taking the day off!
A day off is always a good thing! Congrats on honouring you Kelly. I think we should all schedule them more regularly. Think how much happier and more productive we’d be. Now enjoy that well deserved day off, ok? Thanks for commenting, Paula
What does it mean if your basketball coach says, he can’t put more pressure on me than I put on myself…like I hold myself in a cage and think that I should never make mistakes? Please help me.
Heh Dalon, thanks for the question. What I hear your coach saying is that you are your worst critic and hold yourself to a high standard of achievement. Yes? Setting the bar high is not a bad thing. But being overly critical of ourselves can stifle our results. Why? Because we won’t let ourselves try, or make mistakes. We expect perfection, but in learning a game or any skill, perfection is not the goal. Mastery is. Think about it this way. How can I get a little better at the sport every day, even if that takes some mistakes along the way? AND how can I celebrate my efforts and just have fun with the game? Life’s too short to not have fun living it.
Does that help clarify?
Thanks for asking.
Warmest,
Paula
Thanks Paula,
And yes, that did explain to me what he meant too. 🙂
So Paula, is that the same as saying that I hold myself in contempt for all of my mistakes?
Hi Dalon,
I think you are the only person who can answer that. Do you hold yourself in contempt for all your mistakes? And if so, why?
Is that something you learned from a loved one who you experienced as being hard on you? Or is it a way to sabotage yourself from performance that would absolutely thrill you? These are some great questions to reflect on.
Whether it be basketball or anything else, I invite you to go through life trying your best and offering yourself immense love and compassion. That is when our light can shine brightest!
Keep me posted!
Paula