Have you ever felt discouraged by people mocking your wellness efforts? Comments like:
“Well, aren’t you Miss Healthy!”
“You don’t need to work out. You are so tiny.”
“Come on, this one dessert won’t kill ya.”
“Must be nice to be able to eat whatever you want.”
Maybe you’ve heard those words. Maybe you’ve said or thought them of someone else.
Having lived a wellness lifestyle for decades, I’ve experienced many little jabs over the years – often from people you think would be most supportive. And because it is human instinct to want to fit in and be loved, if you take those comments to heart, they can squash your exercise or clean-eating efforts. In fact, they can absolutely derail you… especially when you are just forming new habits.
I particularly love the phrase — “Must be nice” – as if it’s luck that fit people look the way they do. Every person who works at being fit knows that luck has very little to do with it. It’s a lifestyle choice. Yes, some genetics are involved. But time and time again, success stories prove that attitude and daily habits have much more to do with your health and appearance than genetics.
So how do you deal with those snarky sarcastic comments without just snapping back or derailing yourself?
Here are five important steps:
1. SEEK TO UNDERSTAND
First off, know that their comments aren’t about you. They are about them. Often times when people are out of sync with their own truth, they project onto others. They justify their unhealthy choices at a dinner party by singling the healthy ones out. Having this awareness fills me with compassion for these people, because I know that, if they need to project onto me, they must really be out of sorts within themselves. You can tell so much about a person by the quality and tone of their comments.
2. PLAN YOUR RESPONSE
If you know your response in advance, then these comments can slide right off you. For example, when someone says to me, “Must be nice.” My response is “Nice doesn’t begin to capture how amazing it feels.” When someone says, “Well aren’t you Miss Healthy” I say, “That’s the goal.” Plan your response in a way that is genuine and supportive of your efforts – something that reaffirms your conviction. It helps the Universe know you mean business!
3. CELEBRATE THEIR NOTICING
I’m the queen of reframing things (just ask my clients). So when someone makes a snarky comment, I take note. Hmmm… I must be doing something right that causes them to notice my delicious healthy habits. Good work Paula! Their comment just became my rocket fuel.
4. VOICE YOUR TRUTH
If you can’t reframe their comments, especially when they’re from someone in your immediate circle, talk to this person(s). Tell them how important this wellness journey is to you. Ask them to either support your efforts or keep quiet. Often times people have no idea how hurtful their comments are. Voicing your truth softly but firmly honours you AND teaches people how to treat you.
5. LEAD THE WAY
I’ve discovered the most powerful way to transform other people’s thinking is to be a role model. When a friend or family member sees the results you’re getting (because you look fantastic!), all of a sudden the comments at the dinner table seem to go quiet. The same people who were taking jabs are now asking, what’s your secret?
Isn’t human behavior funny?
These five steps also apply to comments about parenting, career or business success, or your personal spending choices.
People will always have an opinion. Their opinion is not your problem.
The world needs more people who will rise in the face of snarky comments versus shrink. Right? So remember, seek to understand, plan your response, celebrate their noticing, voice your truth and lead the way.
Oh, and one last point…
Get a louder cheering section.
Surround yourself with people who will cheer you on with inspiration and encouragement versus drag you down because of their own stuff.
That’s a key component in my upcoming journey: 90 Days of Movement that has you Feeling Fit, Fabulous and Flowing. I’m so excited to walk the path with incredible women who are willing to inspire and be inspired!
If you’re discouraged by your efforts to get your body moving, then this journey is a goldmine! Don’t delay. There are only a few spots left! Read about it here and contact me right away if you are in!
To Sparkling Choices that Fuel Success,
Paula
