Depression is Not Something You Just Snap Out Of

Have you ever witnessed someone suffering from depression and think, “just snap out of it”? While I’m not proud to admit, I used to think that.  Now I know differently thanks to Lee Horbachewski.

It was about a year after my mom died. She’d fought an 8-year battle with lung cancer, with my dad as both her husband and doctor by her side.

He was not doing well a year later. I remember all of us girls gathered in my father’s hospital room for an intervention of sorts. We wanted to help him but truthfully we didn’t know what we were dealing with. We knew he was not well, but we thought that if we just let him know how his actions were impacting us, he could change.

As we all shed tears and spoke our truth, I remember him lying on his hospital bed, staring at the ceiling — completely void of emotion. It’s like he didn’t hear us. Or didn’t care. Either way, we weren’t getting through to him.

Honestly, it was my first glimpse into the depths of depression. How could he barely respond? I left there feeling less hopeful than when I came.

Years later, I met an amazing woman, Lee Horbachewski, who helped me know now what I didn’t know then.

{insert grateful tears}

Through witnessing her journey with depression, including her highs and lows, I began to truly understand the disease. It was not what I thought it was. It wasn’t a simple case of “snap out of it”. I began to understand what my father had processed. And I saw how what we offered him on that day was of little help. In fact, it probably caused him more distress because, in fact, if he could have easily changed his mental state, he would have.

Lee’s journey through depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts opened my eyes and my heart. Her story as captured in her book A Quiet Strong Voice created a pathway of acceptance in me. My judgments cast on my father that day dissolved. And guess what? When I recently read the book a second time, the healing was for me.

In so many ways, we are still in the dark regarding depression and mental illness. No one wants to talk about it, yet the stats are staggering:

Here are 9 Alarming Canadian Statistics:

1. 1 in 5 Canadians experiences a mental health or addiction problem.
2. About 20% of people with a mental disorder have a co-occurring substance use problem.
3. Nearly 4,000 Canadians die by suicide each year – an average of 11 suicides a day.
4. After accidents, suicide is the second leading cause of death among youth aged 10-19. Suicide accounts for 11% of deaths among youth aged 10-14 and 23% of deaths among youth aged 15-19.
5. First Nations youth die by suicide about 5 to 6 times more often than non-Aboriginal youth. Suicide rates for Inuit youth are among the highest in the world, at 11 times the national average.
6. 50% of Canadians would tell friends or co-workers that they have a family member with a mental illness, compared to 72% who would discuss a diagnosis of cancer and 68% who would talk about a family member having diabetes.
7. 42% of Canadians are unsure whether they would socialize with a friend who has a mental illness.
8. 55% of Canadians say they would be unlikely to enter a spousal relationship with someone who has a mental illness.
9. Mental illness is the second leading cause of disability and premature death in Canada. Stat Source: CAMH

Lee’s goal is to change these stats and let people know they are not alone.  It’s not an easy job and not one she can do alone.

Through this book and all she stands for, she offers hope. She offers tools and education. Most importantly, she encourages all of us to trust the quiet strong voice within that is always telling the truth.

My father was fortunate enough to get himself the help he needed to move through a dark period in his life following my mom’s death. Not everyone is as fortunate or knows where to turn.

If you are suffering from depression or know someone who is, you are not alone and there is help. Please consider buying A Quiet Strong Voice. It may just be the missing link in your healing journey.

100% of net proceeds from sales of A Quiet Strong Voice on Monday, March 3rd go to the Distress Centre Calgary — an agency dedicated to helping individuals in crisis.

Purchase the book here.

Thank you Lee for being the beacon of hope and light the world needs. And a personal thank you for helping heal a part of me.

Much love,
Paula

P.S. Here is some beautiful wisdom offered in her book — a message we can all embrace on a daily basis. Please listen to the quiet strong voice within.