Today Hanna brought home her report card. I read it with pride — tears in my eyes. It wasn’t about the grades she got, but more the words her teacher used to describe her… “positive, caring, humorous, creative, passion, respectful, leader.”
Let me share why this means so much. Do you know what I’ve realized?
We spend the first half of our life trying to achieve, achieve, achieve and prove ourselves, and then the next half trying to reclaim, reclaim, reclaim and love ourselves without needing to prove a thing. Ironic, huh?
As I’ve been thinking about that, I’ve been guided to raise Hanna in a different way. If I can help her value herself, her voice, her creativity and her beauty now, maybe she won’t need to be doing healing work when she’s 40 trying to reclaim her amazing spirit!
You see, it’s very easy for me to slip into the parenting patterns I was raised on:
Achieve, be good, fit in, get top marks, speak when you’re spoken to, be responsible, be serious, no fooling around, care what others think and “work — then play”.
Don’t get me wrong. I love and value what my parents gifted me. But those patterns can create a woman who:
- is serious
- is very hard on herself
- has her worth tied to achievement
- doesn’t ask for help
- hides her voice
- fits in to be loved
- stops following her own guidance, and
- struggles to have fun because she’s too darn responsible.
And while that may work for some people, I know the Divine brought Hanna into my life to teach me differently.
So together she and I are rewriting the “Parenting Manual”.
The process isn’t flawless. I stumble all the time. I drift back into what I knew instead of trusting this new path. But her reaction and energy are always mirrors for me to get back on track and try again.
And that’s why the words in Hanna’s report card mean so much to me. They show this proud mama she’s doing alright!
With deep gratitude,
Paula
P.S. Can you relate to the serious woman I describe above? If so, I’d love to know how parenting styles supported or deflated you.
P.S.S. Do you want to know how I’m parenting Hanna differently? I’m no expert, but I’m happy to share what I’m learning. Just let me know!
