It feels so good to be returning to this blog after a short hiatus this week. The funeral mid-week really shifted my schedule. I loved being there, singing in church and connecting with family and friends. Yet I felt the emotional and physical drain of the trip. Then I returned to some important consulting work and being a mom of a spirited, active girl. By the time Friday night rolled around, my body was giving me clear signals that I needed to rest. 

I didn’t think I had pushed myself too hard, but obviously I did. And so last night as my head hit the pillow, I made a conscious shift. I promised myself that I’d return to this wellness journey.

I’m realizing how easy it is for me to get off track, go ‘unconscious’ by repeating past work and life habits, and engage in commitments that are not in my highest interest. I call them my slippery slopes. I seldom do things I don’t want to do, but even still, with the things I want to do, I must ask myself: Does this support my wellness? Does it give me energy? Can I engage in this activity without compromising my health?

And if the answer is a no or even a weak yes, I must say no (at least for now).

This approach to life is so different for me. I used to say yes, without thinking about the impacts on my body. I’d figure out that part later. Or I didn’t want to admit that I needed to consider my health to the extent I am now. After all, other people don’t have to be so vigilant.

Hmmmm…. I can hear the wise sage now. Paula, comparing to others is such a disservice to you. It is so dishonoring of your unique journey.

In the world of self-love, there’s no meaningful comparison to another person.

And so I return — full body, heart and mind. Thank you, my friends, for helping  me honour this commitment. Grateful is my heart.

What path do you want to return to? Perhaps it’s an exercise routine or healthy eating. Perhaps it’s to spend time on an important project or quality family time. Whatever it is, take this opportunity to renew your commitment. Let’s do this together. 

On the path, we can expect to stumble a time or two. The blessing is to learn what caused us to trip and pick ourselves back up.

Lots of love,
Paula

Endings arrange themselves naturally when you are complete within yourself.  –  Alan Cohen

I love this quote that found its way into my inbox today. Its so perfect for where I am at. Thank you so much to those who reached out to me after my blog post on Forgiveness. It seems to have struck a chord with many of us. Bringing things to completion is an important part of moving forward. And forgiveness and love are often part of the path.

And with that, I’m off to a funeral to honour the life of a loving and devoted man. He was a dear family friend who gave unselfishly to his family and Ukrainian community. I’m  looking forward to being with all the people who will gather. These are the type of people you may not see often, but when you do, it feels like home.

Lots of love,
Paula

I’m learning one of the most powerful things we can do to heal our physical body is to forgive — not just say we forgive, but actually release it from our body. So much of what manifests as illness is actually unresolved past hurts we are holding on to.

Today I wrote a letter to myself, in which I listed all the things I forgive myself for. I wrote and wrote and wrote, until I had nothing more to say.

Then with a deep sigh, hand on my heart, I read it out loud.  As I read it again, I began tapping, first on the crown of my head, then my forehead, then side of my eyes, underneath the eyes, under the mouth, on the chin, on the collar bone and then underneath the arm.  I repeated the tapping points one, two, three times — until I could feel my whole body tingling. My energy was shifting. It was like I could feel all my cells doing their happy dance. I could hear myself reading the items on my forgiveness list, yet notice they didn’t have the same sting anymore. WOW!

The interesting thing is if you would have asked me a month ago whether I needed to forgive myself, I would have probably said no. I didn’t even know this was a step I needed to take. I didn’t realize all the things (big and small) I was beating myself up about. No wonder my body has been weary.

That is a rich part of this journey — uncovering the obstacles that stand between us and the life we so desire. For many of us, these obstacles aren’t in plain view. We can feel ourselves up against them, but not articulate them. Or we’d rather turn a blind eye. It’s like what we can’t see, won’t hurt us… and yet it can and does.

The journey to wellness is truly a journey to love, and specifically self-love. We will heal when our capacity and desire to love ourselves is greater than our need to oppose. I am so grateful for this awareness and also for the tender heartwork I did today. Now for a big juicy self hug.

What about you? What do you need to forgive yourself for today?

Love & sparkling light,
Paula

This post is part of my wellness journey. If you’re new to this blog, read what prompted this journey.

photo by Pink Sherbet Photography

I’ve had this deep longing for a while now to give myself fully to a wellness journey. It was triggered by a desire for more vibrant health, but really, it’s so much more than that. It’s a invitation to stop, look in the mirror and have a real heart-to-heart.

“Hi beautiful…. we need to talk. You know this life you are living? Well, it could be so much more. I see so much more for you than you are allowing. Yes, your health appears as a temporary roadblock. But it is just that. Temporary, and just a roadblock. Who said we need a road anyways? What about the less travelled paths through splendid forests, down sparkling streams or over magestic mountains? What about daring to fly? (Ooo…that would be cool!)

You know who put the roadblock there, don’t you? Yes Paula… you.

I know you don’t want to believe that right now. It’s so much easier to hang it on heredity, a long-standing list of family illness, weather, stresses or other factors. But you are wise Paula. You know this stuff. It’s the symptom not the cause.

I know it’s uncomfortable right now. I know you are trying to distract yourself. I know you are questioning whether you even need to be doing this journey. After all, is your health really that bad?

Well, no. You could cope. You are coping. But is ‘coping’ how you want to live? Where do you want to be six months from now? Still coping?

I didn’t think so. I see a vibrant, brilliant woman who has so much to offer. I see her shying away from her most brilliant choices and using illness as her crutch.

I know, I know. When you are lying on the bathroom floor, it’s hard to think that you are not the victim. In the moment, you feel the fullness of your symptoms. That is all you can see.

So, let me help you see more. And let me gift you with support. You must have already noticed it. Beautiful friends, amazing inspiration, financial flow, and a schedule that has so perfectly opened up to make space for this in your life. Yes, we do good work.

We are a team, you and me. We can do this. So, stick with this journey. You are right where you are meant to be. And it is actually easier than your mind wants you to believe.

Your first step is to set some habits that will support this unfolding — starting tonight. Early to bed, my dear. No working away at the computer. And then when inspiration wakes you in the morning, go grab your journal, a glass of water and meet me in your comfy chair. We have so much to talk about.”