Archive for the ‘Parenting & Family’ Category

What Do You Need in Order to Thrive?

Thrive — it’s one of my favourite words. It reminds us that we are not born into this world to struggle or survive, but rather to thrive!

But so often we can get in a rut of “what is” which tends to be filled with obligations and tasks as opposed to “what we need in order to thrive”. When we are focused on thriving, we bring new energy into our daily choices for how we live and love.

What Do You Need in Order to Thrive?

To help you answer this question, pull out a piece of paper. Draw a line down the centre vertically. Title the two columns:

1) Things that bring me energy

2) Things that steal my energy

Brainstorm ideas for both columns.

What brings you energy? Perhaps a good night’s sleep, morning centering time, a nourishing breakfast, quality time with girlfriends, a walk in the sunshine, etc.

What steals your energy? Maybe it’s mind chatter, certain negative people, multi-tasking, crappy food choices, too much time sitting, or not enough quiet time.

Often by looking at what steals your energy, you can flip that around and discover what brings you energy.

You were born to thrive. I mean full-out, heart-bursting, “OMG I can’t believe I get to live this life” THRIVE. And what brings you energy is what you need in order to thrive.

That seems simple and obvious. Right?

Now look at your list and see how many of the items in the first column make it into your daily routine?

Several? Fabulous.

But if not, no worries. Great awareness. I invite you to pick two or three that bring you energy and make them daily essentials. Or maybe even just one to start. But do it daily, preferably at the beginning of your day as a powerful statement to the Universe that you are worth it.

What things did you choose? In my quiet time over the past few days I recognize I need more play, more stillness and more inspiration surrounding me. What about you?

I’d love to hear!
Paula

P.S. This is also a great exericse to do as a family. What brings you energy in the family? What steals it? Allow each family member to create his/her own list and then come together to share. Wonderful truthtelling!

March 23rd, 2013 | Write Comment | Category: 100 Day Writing Journey · Designing A Life That Sparkles · Parenting & Family

Rewriting the “Parenting Manual”

Today Hanna brought home her report card. I read it with pride — tears in my eyes.

It wasn’t about the grades she got, but more the words her teacher used to describe her… “positive, caring, humorous, creative, passion, respectful, leader.”

Let me share why this means so much. Do you know what I’ve realized?

We spend the first half of our life trying to achieve, achieve, achieve and prove ourselves, and then the next half trying to reclaim, reclaim, reclaim and love ourselves without needing to prove a thing.

Ironic, huh?

As I’ve been thinking about that, I’ve been guided to raise Hanna in a different way. If I can help her value herself, her voice, her creativity and her beauty now, maybe she won’t need to be doing healing work when she’s 40 trying to reclaim her amazing spirit!

You see, it’s very easy for me to slip into the parenting patterns I was raised on:

Achieve, be good, fit in, get top marks, speak when you’re spoken to, be responsible, be serious, no fooling around, care what others think and “work — then play”.

Don’t get me wrong. I love and value what my parents gifted me. But those patterns can create a woman who:

– is serious
– is very hard on herself
– has her worth tied to achievement
– doesn’t ask for help
– hides her voice
– fits in to be loved
– stops following her own guidance, and
– struggles to have fun because she’s too darn responsible.

And while that may work for some people, I know the Divine brought Hanna into my life to teach me differently.

So together she and I are rewriting the “Parenting Manual”.

The process isn’t flawless. I stumble all the time. I drift back into what I knew instead of trusting this new path. But her reaction and energy are always mirrors for me to get back on track and try again.

And that’s why the words in Hanna’s report card mean so much to me. They show this proud mama she’s doing alright!

P.S. Can you relate to the serious woman I describe above? If so, I’d love to know how parenting styles supported or deflated you.

P.S.S. Do you want to know how I’m parenting Hanna differently? I’m no expert, but I’m happy to share what I’m learning. Just let me know!

March 16th, 2013 | Write Comment | Category: 100 Day Writing Journey · Parenting & Family · Personal Reflections

“Do I HAVE to go through puberty?”

Relaxing in bath

The other day while I was in the bath, Hanna came to chat and curiously began asking about body parts.

“Will my boobies look like that?”
“How come men have hair in their armpits?”
“Do women grow hair there too?” (and more…)

Quickly we got on the topic of the body changes that happen at puberty. I’m a big believer in starting this conversation early, especially if children are asking.

Her face grew serious. “Mom, do I HAVE to go through puberty?”

“Yes, my dear. It happens naturally. That phase of your life prepares your body so you can have children when you are older — if you choose.”

“Oh I am having children. Three of them.” she replied confidently.

“Wow, good to know. I think you’ll make a fabulous mom.”

A smile filled her face.

Then she whipped her leg onto the tub, hiked up her yoga pants and declared,

“LOOK! I’m already growing hair on my legs. I think I need the No!No!”

I laughed. Obviously TV commercials are doing their job. My seven-year old is convinced she needs a hair removal gadget.

“All in good time my dear. Your legs are beautiful just as they are.”

p.s. I love that Hanna and I can talk about anything. I hope that is always the way it is.

p.s.s The funny about the No!No! is 4 years ago I had some fraud charges on my Visa. One was for a No!No! and the other a $1200 rental car charge in Paris.

p.s.s. Now I’m curious. Does the No!No! actually work? Anyone?

March 9th, 2013 | Write Comment | Category: 100 Day Writing Journey · Parenting & Family

Taking Fashion Lessons From Hanna

Have you ever put on an outfit and despite it being the latest trend, it just doesn’t feel good on you? How many clothes in your closet are not worn because of that?

Have you caught yourself admiring someone who is dressed to the nines and then look down at yourself feeling a bit like a “shlop” and begin fixing your clothes uncomfortably?

I snapped this picture of Hanna as we were waiting for our Booster Juice at Talisman Centre yesterday. We had both just swam. She did her lessons, I did lane swimming. Wet hair and all, she was sporting pink… and looked mighty fabulous and hip.

I am amazed at my daughter’s sense of fashion and how she puts outfits together. It’s totally Hanna style. I don’t help, in fact, she seldom let’s me give my opinion on what she wears. There’s a confidence in her process that says,

I know who I AM. I like who I AM.

Clothes have energy, just like everything else. Hanna knows what feels good on her and she struggles to wear something that doesn’t.

Watching Hanna, I’ve learned three things.

1. Let your own personal style shine.
2. Check in with how your clothes feel.
3. Avoid wearing clothes that bring your energy down. In fact, give them away!

Yes, I realize that not everyone has the funds to completely overhaul their closet. I’m not suggesting that. I’m inviting you to connect with the energy of your clothes and see if they are a true match for the divine woman inside you. If not, slowly, and as funds allow, replace and upgrade.

We women are constantly evolving. Heck, sometimes I can hardly keep up with myself. That’s why it’s so important for us to be scanning our environment and choosing that which aligns with the amazing person we are and are becoming.

Yes, right down to the undies!

What’s one piece of clothing or shoes you own that is so NOT YOU?

I’ve got plenty ready for a spring fling into someone else’s closet – stuffy suits, jeans that ride too low, and some jackets that frump. What about you?

March 3rd, 2013 | 2 Comments | Category: 100 Day Writing Journey · Energy Work · Parenting & Family

Fueling Your Child’s Inner Voice

Have you ever been talking to your child and then realize, OH MY GOD I sound exactly like my mother? Tone and all? Yup, me too.

When I shared this image on Facebook a while back, it stopped me in my tracks.

My heart sank as I recalled how I had rushed my daughter earlier that day. Did I want that tape playing in her head in a year or ten from now? GULP!

Each day I guide women to speak kindly to themselves, to love and nurture their bodies, and to lean in and trust their magic.

But what was I saying each day to my child? What was my body language saying? How about my tone? Equally important, what could she hear through my energy?

Immediately I knew I was going to do things differently with Miss Hanna. I was going to change how I communicated.

This is not to say that I was a bad mom or that my mom was a bad mom. Quite the opposite. But I wasn’t fully being the kind of mom I dreamed of. I wasn’t always fueling in her the qualities I so believe in — uniqueness, creativity, self-expression, worthiness, truth-seeking, magic, curiousity, playfulness, intuition, connection and a trusting in life.

So I decided to change. And that decision is changing our world.

We are developing our own little lovefest. We are forming rituals that I can tell mean a lot to her — like picking our inspirational rocks each night and then holding hands in silence as we take in their energy. We talk about dreams and goals. She gives me sage wisdom about my business. There is a softening of hearts and a soul connection that surpasses all words.

I share this with you because fine tuning my parenting has made a world of difference in both my relationship with Hanna and the pride I feel in being a mom. And it all stemmed from that quote above. (Thanks Universe for the reset button.)

What we say repeatedly to our children matters. It shapes who they become and what they see as possible for themselves.

I want to be the voice of inspiration and love that sings in Hanna’s heart, lifts her wings and opens her mind to dream-making. Nothing less.

Is every day pure bliss? No. Can we control everything that plays out in our children’s minds? Not a chance.

But that’s the journey we walk as parents. I want to look back and say I did my best. I want the same for you.

February 23rd, 2013 | Write Comment | Category: 100 Day Writing Journey · Communication · Parenting & Family

Define Family Your Way

I came into the kitchen one day to find Hanna on the island taping a hand-made mobile to the ceiling that said, “LOVE YOUR FAMILY”. And love my little family I do!

With today being Family Day in many Canadian provinces, I’ve been reflecting on what family means to me. I invite you to do the same.

My definition of family has expanded a lot in the last decade. With the passing of both my parents, some days I have felt like an orphan. Yet, the bond between my three sisters continues and we bring our families together to create new memories.

Then there is my soul family.

As I’ve followed my passions, I have met my soul family — one by one — people whom I feel a divine connection to. It’s no accident they come into my life and then we part ways when that purpose is served. No drama, just a mutual, “thank you deeply for being in my life.” I love each of my soul family. We support each other’s growth in ways only soul family can.

And then there is my sacred contract.

Through Hanna’s adoption, I’ve learned a whole new definition of family. People unfamiliar with adoption will ask, “Do you find it hard? Do you ever fear?” And the opposite is my truth. I’m thrilled that Hanna has two moms and two dads to love her and that a sacred contract will always exist between us all.

Your Turn:

1. How do you define family — both your biological and soul family?

2. What makes your family unique? What do you love most about it?

3. What amazing qualities does family bring out in you?

4. What lessons is your family teaching you?

What I love about life is that we get to define relationships however we want. We get to decide who is “family” and how we function in our family unit. Throw out the rules and societal definitions and create your own. It’s a sure way to see your family thrive.

Sending you love,

Paula

P.S. I am very grateful you are part of my online family. Thank you for being you.

February 18th, 2013 | Write Comment | Category: 100 Day Writing Journey · Parenting & Family · Personal Reflections

Meet Hanna

Meet Hanna — my creative, determined, full-of-heart 7 year old whom we adopted at birth. When we drove home from the hospital that hot sunny day, we had no idea what was in store. Half way home, we fumbled to change her diaper in the trunk of our car at a gas station. It was confirmed — we were such newbies.

We didn’t go through any prenatal classes. We didn’t have nine months to prepare. And we didn’t know how to navigate the world of adoption, which by the way has been fabulous.

Ignorance is bliss.

Hanna taught me to believe in miracles — to put an intention out to the Universe and patiently open to receive its arrival, without worry or forcing results. Each day, she teaches me to have fun, be more creative, imagine more, and celebrate often. She reminds me that my way isn’t the only way and that she has just as much to teach me as I do her.

To all new parents, I say throw out the manuals. Your baby is your manual. If you are paying attention, he or she will teach you everything you need to know. The same applies to your own life. You are your manual — your energy holds the lessons.

You’ll be hearing more from Miss Hanna, so I wanted to make formal introductions if you are new here. She’s excited to meet you too!

February 12th, 2013 | Write Comment | Category: 100 Day Writing Journey · Parenting & Family · Personal Reflections

To the Mothers of the World

Happy Mother’s Day Weekend to all the mothers of the world.

Moms alive or now passed… or still yet to become.
Moms of children, adoptive children, step children and grandchildren.
Moms of pets, animals, plants, birds and all of Mother Nature’s wonders.
Moms that nurture books, songs, movements, inventions, causes and new thought.
Moms that shape the world and help it to be a brighter, more expansive place.
Moms that celebrate their own divinity, their own power, their own voice.
Moms that honour their own body and spirit and treat them as sacred creations.
Moms that extend love wherever they go, knowing they make a huge difference.

To all the mothers of the world, I extend a warm Happy Mama’s Day!

May 7th, 2011 | 3 Comments | Category: Parenting & Family · Personal Reflections

Live Your Unlived

My dear friend and parent coach Ann-Michele Timmerman has shared two gems of sage wisdom that I love and think are so guiding. The first is a quote by Carl Jung.

“The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of the parents.”

And the second gem comes from her own coaching experience. Ann-Michele offers:

“As a parent coach, what I hear a lot is, “I live for my kids.” Parents, please don’t. Live for yourselves. You will be such a better role model for your children.”

What is unlived in you? What dreams are you putting on the backburner as you raise your children? What if the very dreams you keep hidden deep inside are dreams your child can inspire, share in and even help fulfill? They are wise, resourceful, playful souls – those beautiful children of ours. They deserve to see us sparkle and shine. Perhaps they were even brought here to teach us how.

We are always richer parents for having attended to our own garden of dreams.

With Love,
Paula