Pausing is not stopping. It’s taking a moment to catch your breath and soak in the scenery. It’s looking back on how far you’ve come in rich admiration for the journey. It’s setting your sights forward, making sure your wheels are ready to turn your heart in motion.
I woke up today to a tired sore body. I didn’t have energy for my usual workout. This on the heels of an amazingly energetic day yesterday cleaning our house, going to Hanna’s swim lessons and then enjoying a movie night out.
I still managed my morning routine but it was a shortened version. Gentle stretches, journaling and my energy drink. I also crossed one more thing off my Freedom List today, meeting a lawyer friend to notarize documents for my father’s estate. After a few hours of great work, I returned home to a delicious home-cooked meal. I’m so grateful for my husband.
As I noticed a significant decrease in energy from yesterday to today, my mind wanted to jump on the drama bandwagon. “Here we go again Paula… two steps forward, one step back. This always happens to you. You can never gain traction. What’s wrong with your body? Are you really cut out for this?’
The internal choir went on for a bit while I simply watched and listened. Watched and listened. Wow…
As the chatter picked up in speed and volume, I finally stepped in.
“Not so fast,” I interjected. “I won’t let you do this. I won’t let you beat yourself up after all the incredible momentum we’ve gained. This is simply a pause. The body is asking for a break and that’s a reasonable request. So honour it. Give it what it needs. Nothing goes full speed indefinitely. And please let go of this habitual song you sing that we can’t seem to ever gain momentum. We can, we are, and we will!”
The choir was silent. Nobody had ever spoken to them like that before.
“Whoa… who is this new conductor?” one whispered.
“I don’t know,” said another. “But I like her.”